Health and Healing

While I'm not one to judge (that is God and only God's responsibility), this one thing I do know, the world will only offer you a false sense of hope and that includes the hope that you're healed. 

Unfortunately, I've been through a lot of trauma in my life. I've been to therapy in the past, but I wasn't a Christian then nor was I seeing a Christian therapist - herein lies the key. Listen for a moment, please hear me out...

The last time I went to therapy to truly work on issues was when my daughter was 3, she's now 18. While I thought I was doing fine, coping with what I'd been through, honestly all I think I did was bottle it up and keep myself busy with everything and everyone except for who and what could truly heal me.

After leaving therapy I became a workaholic - working long days and nights as a freelance writer simply because I was a single mother who needed the money. Unfortunately, I didn't have a house God would've been proud of (thank God for forgiveness). Oftentimes my daughter got ignored while I met deadlines and chased after money thinking it would bring me happiness only to later find out I was chasing after the spirit of Mammon. Then when I discovered that I could make good money from reading Tarot my daughter got exposed to demons - some that I truly believe still haunt her today. While she wasn't abused, being ignored is just as bad.


I am God's


In November 2018, shortly after giving my life to Christ and being baptized, I went into the hospital and discovered that my whole endocrine system had failed (that includes thyroid, diabetes and adrenal fatigue). I soon learned that having been told that I have PTSD and claiming it was what caused me to have so many health issues. Of course, it also didn't help that I kept everything bottled up inside throughout my whole life and chased after many demons instead of the one true God.

God has really helped me grow since then. However, about a month ago Satan started attacking me in my dreams (an area where we're the most vulnerable because we aren't able to control what we don't know is happening). I tried playing white noise and Scripture while sleeping but that didn't help. Eventually I was led to find a good, Christian counselor who has started to help me see that I was simply avoiding issues, not dealing with them. In other words, the healing I'd been claiming was man made, not from God.

Since my endocrine issues started I've been telling people not to claim their illnesses, and to work through their PTSD but now it's my turn. (Thank God my endocrine issues are now under control.) I've also been saying that I feel like Paul with a "thorn in my side" but I do know one thing for certain: God can and will heal me when His time is right. Until then I will continue to be His faithful servant because I know that only He can provide my ultimate healing.

While rehashing these thoughts and feelings hasn't been easy, it's bringing me closer to God. Satan continues to try waging his attacks against me but I'm not going to let him win this war. I honestly haven't shared a lot of things with my therapist yet just because it hasn't been time. However, I have a lot of things to talk to God about and I know that He's my ultimate healer. Sure He placed a therapist here to help me but my therapist is only a tool. God is the real answer and it is Him whom I seek.


Why am I telling you this today? It's not only to share my testimony and be honest with you about where I'm at and what I'm dealing with but it's also to encourage you to turn to the ultimate healer. Sure you can use medication and therapists but they're only band-aids. Until you turn to God and get right with Him, there is no real healing. Now this doesn't mean He'll heal you immediately, but it does mean He will bring you through victorious.