I am a firm believer in my salvation. Up until about a month ago it was God and I all the way - no therapy, hit the floor before I go out the door to talk to anyone. Suddenly I started having nightmares to the point I was screaming out in my sleep but couldn't remember anything. My doctor put me on some meds to help me sleep and suggested I find a therapist.
Fortunately, my pastor suggested a Godly therapist in my church. I was in the process of completing intake when all the sudden we're all put into quarantine.
Unfortunately, one of the meds I'm on traps me inside of my dreams - as in I literally cannot wake myself up. The other med I was already taking for my thyroid when my doctor increased it and I'm slowly switching it to morning time too.
Earlier this week I had a succession of dreams that hit me after talking to my therapist. They've literally been playing through my mind for two or three days now. Suddenly, today it hits me! There's a reason for these dreams.
I have to say this... I see God working through all of this even when I don't want to look and see it.
Notice:
- Two weeks before this happened I went back into therapy: Coincidence? I think not!
- God will speak to you however He sees fit, however He feels He can get your attention.
- Even if you think you've been able to work through things on your own, you still need to find a Christian brother/sister to come up beside you once in a while.
I encourage you to think through these things. Take the time while you're in quarantine to delve deeply into your life where you're at right now, look at how far you've come, and where you want to see yourself go. For me, I know that I've come rather far considering I can now have male friends and even a male therapist. Unfortunately, while I survived the sexual and mental abuse from my ex which led me down a long, dark road (through porn and the occult), I haven't really dealt with it.
Being stuck in the house is bringing up old feelings of when my ex would keep me inside, away from people. It's high time for me to work on feelings like this that I hadn't really processed before. I will succeed and become an even better person, praise God because...
But we have power over all these things through Jesus Who loves us so much.
- Romans 8:37
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