Over the years, I know I've become a people pleaser. Unfortunately, my desire to make others happy is a symptom of my deeper issue: Being brought up in an abusive home. My eagerness to please those around me is due to being brought up to be a perfectionist. I find it hard to feel accepted and liked without being everything to everyone. By being a people pleaser I hope to make everyone happy. This has become a way of life for me. Unfortunately, this isn't me being kind, it's me being a doormat and being walked all over. I "protect" this characteristic by saying things like "I don't want to be selfish" or "I want to be a good person."
Being a people pleaser is a serious issue and a very hard habit to break. With this in mind here's a quiz for you...
Unfortunately, if you're like me you've answered enough questions to be seen as a people pleaser. This is something that I'd mentioned knowing about myself - last week, prior to taking this quiz. Nevertheless, there are some things that me, as a people pleaser, must remember:
- Listening politely to other people, even though you may disagree, is a good social skill. However, acting like you agree with them so you're liked means you're acting in a way that goes against your values.
- While it's important to understand that your behavior impacts others, thinking that you can make others happy is an issue. Everyone is responsible for their own emotions.
- Regardless of why you're a people pleaser, it's important to remember that there's no reason why you should apologize for being the person you are.
- It's important to understand that if you don't speak up for yourself, you'll never be the person God has created you to be.
- People get mad all the time. It's not always your fault. However, if you don't want someone being mad at you, you're more likely to compromise your values for them.
- Different people will bring out different parts of your personality. Don't let them pressure you into being someone God hasn't created you to be.
- Kind words and praise may make you feel good, you shouldn't depend on people to give you this type of validation. You need to fill yourself with the things that God says about you - speak life and prophesy over yourself.
- While you don't necessarily want to start a conflict, if avoiding one means being untrue to you and God, you have no choice: You'll need to follow God's will, not man's.
- Forming authentic relationships with people requires you to sometimes speak up about how you're feeling. Otherwise you'll never have anything more than a superficial relationship.
There are many things to think on here. Ultimately what it comes down to is: Will you please the people around you or will you please God? While this is easy to answer, it's challenging to implement. Nevertheless, we're called to...
Lord help set me free from people pleasing tendencies.
Help me be humble in seeking your will and honest in living your will out in front of others.
Forgive me for the times I live for people instead of living for you.
In Jesus' name, AMEN