The Wondering Heart


God said to Moses, “I-AM-WHO-I-AM. Tell the People of Israel, ‘I-AM sent me to you.’” 
- Exodus 3:14

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not sure why the Lord has decided to use me to help those with addiction and those who love them. When I first started Ruby Hem Ministries I thought that it was to minister to those who had PTSD due to childhood trauma or domestic abuse. I remember thinking that I should also be concerned about those who were suffering from having been in the occult but I remember my minister telling me to "Slow up." As she's a true woman of God, I listened. I went back to showing my concern for those who'd been victims of abuse instead.

I stood firm in this line of ministry for over a year as God worked on my heart. In October 2021 God gave me a vision (not a dream, but a real, live vision). In this vision, God showed me how He's had His hand on my life throughout the years - yes, even while I was dabbling in the occult. He also showed me the purpose of Ruby Hem Ministries is to show concern for those who are affected by addiction due to having been victims of abuse themselves. Not only was I to show love and compassion for them but also for their friends and family.

Now I could have sat here and argued with God but that vision truly impacted my life in ways that only I can know or understand. Since then God has laid the story of Moses heavily on my heart. If you recall, God wanted (and eventually did) to use Moses for mighty works. This was a role that Moses didn't feel he was capable of undertaking. 

I can relate to Moses at this point in his life. I find myself sitting here wondering how I'm going to do the things God has called me to do. Then I read more of Moses' story.

God tells Moses that He's the Great "I AM." 

For a few years now my life verse has been Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

When Moses heard who God was and stepped out in the faith of Philippians 4:13 Moses did mighty things for God's Kingdom.

Now, please don't misunderstand me. I'm not comparing myself to Moses nor am I saying that God is going to do great things through my life (although I do believe God uses each of our lives to further His Kingdom) this has given me great hope. I'm not sure where this vision ends because God has told me to leave it to Him to write the story. He's also told me that when it's the right time He'll share more of the vision with me but giving me too much right now would overwhelm me (Thank God for knowing what we can handle).

Why am I sharing this story of my wondering heart with you?

I'm not telling you these things to brag. I'm telling you these things because I believe that each of us has moments in our lives when we find ourselves wondering how we'll be able to do those things that God has called us to do. Hopefully, you'll be able to see that Moses's story is still true today.

I'm also sharing this because I want you to see where this ministry is going. Please keep it in your prayers that I may always submit to God's will for it. 

Until next time, Stay strong,
~ Bre