There's a lot that's going on in my life and in my head right now. Things God has laid on my heart to share with you here.
How is God working in my life?
There are three main ways that I'm witnessing God working in my life. These are all things God has shown me...
I've spent a lot of my life running from God, but now He knows I'm ready to run towards Him. There are so many things in my life that I'm not proud of but I do see how He's brought me through them so that I can learn a lesson from them. I think the main lesson I've learned is that you can't turn to anything/anyone but God to fix your problems. While I'm thankful that I didn't get into drugs/alcohol I feel that I've learned a similar lesson.
God has spent a good part of my life showing me His goodness, even when I don't want to listen or obey. It's only by His grace that I didn't do drugs/alcohol to lessen the pain that I've felt. Sure, He allowed me to dabble in the occult but even then He didn't let me go too far. He's always had His hand on me - ever since high school when I felt His calling on my life. Unfortunately, I chose to ignore this but so did some of the people God used the most in the Bible (e.g., Jonah).
God has also shown me what He's brought me through and where He's taking me. He's given me a vision. Throughout the past few weeks, God has been downloading His plan into my spirit. He's been showing me what He wants to do with my life.
God wants me to attend seminary while also receiving training to work with those in various stages of addiction and their friends/family. He's also showing me the true purpose of the ministry I've started here. I hadn't realized its purpose before and had merely thought (in my carnal mind) that God wanted me to write about things like PTSD and chronic pain.
I'm now seeing that there's a reason He wanted me to learn about these things: So many people who struggle with these issues self-medicate which only draws them further into having issues in their lives. God has now led me to open this ministry even further so that I can work with anyone who's facing these issues. This is why God is helping me to start another stage of this ministry which includes a Facebook "fellowship" group that you're invited to join.
God loves us no matter where we're at in life. He'll do anything to show us this love. When He brings us through things it's not to harm us but to build us up so we can be better servants. Although this is something we may not realize at the time, God really does have His hands on us at all times. It's up to us to choose to believe it, submit and start following Him.
Sometimes we find ourselves questioning why our health is suffering, why we're facing certain addictions in our lives, why.. In the past I thought it was "trite" that Christians told me that trials and illnesses all worked "together for the good of those who love the Lord" but I'm starting to see the truth in this. I think the closer you are to God the more you do understand it.
God yearns for us to follow Him and will continue to pursue us until we do. There's a purpose for each of our lives. We may find ourselves sitting and wondering what the purpose is but that's because we haven't chosen to draw near to Him. We're the ones who are choosing to be lost and wandering even though we don't have to. Instead of sitting around day dreaming and pondering, "Ask and you will receive."
While I'd always thought of returning to school, I thought my calling was to the pulpit. I was ever so wrong. For a while after figuring out that I don't belong in the pulpit, I thought OK I'm working with the homeless, enjoying it and can see me doing this forever. Wrong again.
Yes, God has a call on my life to attend Seminary and yes it isn't to be "used" for a church setting. However, it also isn't to be used in working with the homeless. That time was only meant as a time of learning. God had to take me into this ministry to show me how devastating addiction can be without allowing me to actually experience it firsthand. Sure, He let me dabble in and become addicted to the occult but I'm thankful that's as far as I went and He's delivered me from that too.
God has a plan for our lives even though we may not see it and if we do we may actively try to avoid it. Even when we start to realize what God's plan is for our lives He won't reveal it to us all at once. Doing so would be too much for us to handle and He won't ever do that to us. He tells us that "My yoke is easy and my burden light."
Our human flesh will always be warring to do its own thing but this isn't what God wants. He wants our full submission so He can walk beside us and guide us into His perfect will. This song is so powerful to me today...
What am I going to do?
I'm choosing to embrace God's love and share it with the world. No longer do I feel the need to have people around me all the time nor am I as anxious as I use to be. Instead, I'm resting in God and trusting that everything is going to be OK.
God has fully gotten my attention and I'm fixed on Him regardless of what the enemy throws in my way. The enemy is choosing to attack my health right now but I trust God will win this battle. Instead of continuing bouncing around in circles, I'm waiting on God's perfect timing. He alone will win the battle and I will be patient as I wait for Him to prevail.
I'm no longer avoiding God's purpose/plan for my life. I'm speaking it in truth. I know that alone I won't make it. I know that alone I'll never be the person who God wants me to be nor will I fulfill His will for my life but I'm choosing to trust in a verse He gave me over a year ago...
Until next time, Stay strong,