Dealing with the Toxic People in our Lives

Rise up! You're a queen in God's eyes!

When most people see that they're in a toxic relationship they leave. However, when you have PTSD and have become so accustomed to the toxicity, you find it extremely hard to leave. There are several reasons why this may be happening to you:

• Your self-esttem has been ship wrecked. Now it feels almost impossible for you to stand on your own two feet.
• The other party "tries" to make things better. However, when you let them you simply get swept back up in their toxins. Even when things seem to change for a bit, they never really change for any real length of time.
• It's easy to get caught up in the mentality that we as Christians should love others like Christ first loved us. What we often miss out on is the fact that He never meant for us to be a door mat that gets walked all over.
• There is social pressure to get along with others, especially if the abuser is family. We often think of the verse, "Honor your parents" (Leviticus 19:3). While honor is important, once again it comes down to the fact that you're not meant to be a door mat.
• Many times you'll feel like you're the one that's the problem, not the abuser themselves. This is more commonly referred to as gaslighting.

Gaslighting: Psychological manipulation through which an abuser makes you question your memory or perception of a situation, often resulting in you developing low self-esteem


While you may think there's no way out, you need to recognize that this is Satan's lie. There's always a way out, although it will undoubtedly be hard. As a victim of abuse you can't afford to let Satan talk you into staying.

• They want you to take their words to heart. The Bible says, "Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." Proverbs 18:21. However, the power of God's word is even stronger when you're willing to surrender yourself to it.
• Demanding that the other person changes will never work. Only God can change a person and that person must be ready and willing to change for that to happen.
• Remember, you're not obligated to stay - regardless of who these people are to you. Even if all you can do is cut down on the number of interactions you have with the person at least you won't have all your joy and peace sucked out of your life.

Along the way you'll learn some great lessons that will help empower you for the rest of your life.

• Forgive yourself and give yourself time to grieve.
• Understand that with the passing of time things will get easier.
• Don't dwell on the negative.
• Pray daily for God to heal your wounds and trust that He will do so. Again this will take time, but remember God is the greatest psychiatrist you could ever have on your side. Spend time with Him each day and watch Him transform your life for the better.

Above all, remember...

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. ~ Phil 4:13