Wrestling with my PTSD...

When I look at the world and see all its strife all I feel is sad.
When I look at my own life and see all the pain I've been through all I feel is mad.
Lord why does it have to be this way?
I know you have the final say.
All you have to do is speak the word and it's done.
All you have to do is hold up your hands and the battle is won.
That you have chosen for things to be this way,
I find myself waiting for your final say.
Lord when will this time come
When the battle is finally won?
Lord do I have to wait all my life
Making my way through a ton of strife
Fighting the ultimate battle to be with you
And finally enjoy Heaven's view?
Lord I've had enough
Of this world and all it's stuff.
I wish you'd just call me home into Heaven's door
Where I could worship you forevermore.
Yet, here on Earth I will stay
Until there comes a day
When the pain will go away
And in Heaven I will stay.
Lord fill me with your peace
I ask knowing only you can release
The pain and longing of my soul
For it's you who make me whole.