|How PTSD affects my relationships|
Unfortunately, these characteristics were developed in my childhood. I remember how my parents required me to get nothing less than a "B" on my report card and to always do what I was told, regardless. These are just a few examples of how demanding my parents were. I also remember times when I'd get the belt used on me even though I really hadn't done anything that a typical child wouldn't do. Not to brag, but I was a good kid who didn't do what a lot of kids do. I was always home or if I wasn't, then I was at school, karate, or church.
Another thing that oftentimes happens in homes that "create" "people pleasers" is that parents are emotionally distant. This really doesn't come as much of a surprise as my parents were continually fighting with one another for as long as I can remember. They were also emotionally distant where I was involved. My Mom and I have never really got along and my Dad spent a lot of time at work.
|This is how PTSD affects my life|
How PTSD affects my life is that I honestly don't even know what I enjoy. I'm 44 years old and don't know what I like, what I don't like, etc. Instead I put other people's needs and desires ahead of my own. While you may think that what PTSD looks like here is bad, you should know that it isn't all bad. This shows that I'm a caring person, that I highly value social connections, and that I really like to make other people happy.
This doesn't mean that there aren't any drawbacks though. In fact, there are. Like I mentioned I have no idea who the real me is. As such, my therapist challenged me to do something I enjoy this weekend. So far, I re-dyed my hair purple, spent some time doing crafts, and will fix my nails before going to bed so they look nice for church tomorrow. Slowly but surely I'm being reformed of my "people pleasing" ways.
Such a great post and a beautiful message. We are products of our upbringing as well as all of our experiences and we become these people whom we sometimes don’t even know. Taking time to learn ourselves better no matter what age we are is never a bad thing. I am glad that you have taken your therapist’s challenge and did some things that you enjoy just for yourself. I often have to remind myself that self-care is never selfish! Thanks for sharing and linking up with me.ReplyDelete
I love how you put this because I keep telling my therapist that I don't know who I am anymore. I was brought up thinking I was there to help take care of everyone around me and anything otherwise was selfish. Time to unlearn some habits and get comfortable in my new skin (lol)Delete
I have been a "people pleaser" too. It becomes difficult to control once you become aware of this thing. I came out with great difficulty from this. Hope you get out of this zone sooner! :)ReplyDelete
Would you care to share your "story?" Do a guest post while we're on this topic? If you're interested (no pressure), hit me up Brenda AT support4u .comDelete