Learning how to Trust Your Therapist: Some Practical Tips

Finding a trauma-based therapist is an important first step in your healing journey. From there you must learn to trust the therapist you've chosen. After all, this is someone whom you'll be working collaboratively and cooperatively with them for therapy to work.

Initially your therapist is a stranger to you. Since you're already feeling like life is against you, unknown people and situations may make you weary. Add to it the fact that your PTSD has shaped how you view other people and you may have some serious distortions to deal with. Here are some tips to help guide you in the right direction - that of trusting your therapist.

Start by Rethinking Trust

The easiest way to gain trust in your therapist is to focus on them. Initially you'll want to observe them from the outside where you feel safe. 

Learn to Trust Yourself First

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Unfortunately, at the heart of most client/therapist relationship problems is the client. They don't trust themselves to detect situations that make them feel unsafe or to respond assertively when necessary. This mistrust is most commonly found in those who come from a dysfunctional family. Herein it's important to know that you don't have the necessary skills to confront the situation as this will aggravate things. From there you must remember that therapy isn't meant to feel comfortable. It's time for personal growth - something that requires a degree of stress.

Ask Your Therapist to Help You Feel Comfortable

Your trauma-based therapist will expect you to be wary but since they don't know you well they don't understand the precise nature of your fears. Remember, your therapist also has fears - mainly they don't want to distress you. Help yourself and your therapist by telling them when your fears are starting to distract you. They'll try their best to address the issue because they understand it's in the session's best interest to do so.

View Your Therapist as a Partner

You don't know your therapist in the beginning and you've brought with you distrust issues too. When your trauma has been brought on by people, being in a small with someone can trigger you. This is something you can reduce by anticipating it ahead of time. You should also disclose this problem to your therapist.

Understanding the Negativity Bias

Due to active trauma memory we view new situations with a negativity bias which makes our lives an almost constant struggle because we're easily discouraged and become hopeless. We grow accustomed to chronic stress and fail to notice how it's warped our outlook. Wonder if this describes you? Think about your self-talk and what those words are saying. If it's mostly negative, try to look at things with more of a positive outlook.

Understanding the Influence of Trauma Memory

There are two main issues here:

• The people problem: You'll make sense of your therapist based on your previous personal experiences with other people. This can seriously distort your perception. The best way to manage this is to think about what you've learned from your experiences and how not every generalization is true for every situation or person. Unfortunately, this is something you won't notice until you notice your thinking and question it.
• The brain function problem: Your brain becomes constantly noisy when it has active, unresolved trauma memories. Not only is this annoying but it's also distracting and makes you feel powerless. When this happens we struggle to see things the way they really are. You can think of this as an invisible fog. This means you need to slow down, be cautious, and pay attention to what's happening around you. Stick to the facts. Eventually as you address your trauma in therapy you won't need to do this so frequently.

Training Yourself to Recognize Safe Situations

Due to your trauma you may not realize how safe your therapy situation is even if it's very clearly safe. This is because you don't have much previous experience with safe situations. This cognitive distortion will cloud your perceptions until you slow down and learn what "safe" looks, feels, and acts like - something that's really important to learn so you know you can keep yourself safe.

Love Yourself

Entering therapy with active trauma memory means you have a lot to learn. Initially you may not even realize this. Remember, learning is possible if you're persistent and patient. Don't expect too much from yourself in the beginning. Instead, learn to tolerate your ineptness. Stick with the process. Believe that good changes will happen and they will. Think of this as a maturation process and you'll eventually emerge successful.