In Pursuit of True Identity


Have you ever taken the time to sit down and prioritize yourself? I know this isn't something I've done. As Christians, we tend to put everyone else above ourselves. In fact, this is something that I'd always been taught throughout my church life:

When you think of this saying, you may feel a bit selfish putting yourself first. Now, I'm not saying that you should place yourself above Jesus, but I am saying that you need to look out for yourself. This is especially true if you have a chronic illness, PTSD, or both.

So Many Hats, So Little Time

There are so many different hats each of us wears. When you stop to think about each of these hats, you'll see how they come together to form your identity. Let's take a moment to see what each of these hats may include.


Do you have healthy relationships? Are the people around you building you up or tearing you down? Have they invested in you as much as you've invested in them?

I miss friends, but I know that they were planted in my life for a season and for a reason. We can't sit around lamenting what we once had. We need to embrace what we have now and move forward.

I know this isn't easy. I'm in a season where I don't have any close relationships like I once had. While I'm around a lot of people in chatrooms, everything seems so superficial online. I need to move past this since this is the new way of relating, thanks to COVID.


Are you working? If so, is this a job that builds you up or one that tears you down? Do you hate going to work each day, or have you been blessed to have the job you've always dreamed about?

I was once told that you won't feel like you're working when you love your job. I've found this is true.

Hopefully, you're in a career that you enjoy. Don't let it master you. It shouldn't be your whole identity. This is something I'm working on right now. While I love my part-time job, when I'm not working, I fret over it. I know I'm blessed to not have to work, but the extra money is always nice - although not essential.


Are you in school? Do you want to be in school? Is this a means to a dream you've always had? If so, can you find a way to make it happen?

It's never too late to want to return to school to pursue a dream. Sometimes we drift through college without knowing who we are or what we want to do with our lives. It's only after we graduate and enter the "real world" that we find we're unhappy with the path we've chosen for ourselves.

You may decide you want your life to take another path, so you want to return to school. Some people may tell you that you can't do this (regardless of the reason). Remember, you don't have to listen to them. I didn't, and that's why I'm in school pursuing my dreams now.

While it took me a long time to get here, I'm finally working on my Masters, and I'm glad I took time off because I now know what I want to do and where I want to be. I've even learned a lot along the way to help me with this.


You may say that you value yourself but do you show yourself how valuable you are? Do you take time to do things that you enjoy? Have you spent time working on building yourself up?

Self-care isn't selfish. If you don't take care of yourself, who will? This question goes back to the old analogy that you have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping someone else with theirs.

For me, I've somehow built a loose-flowing schedule around self-care. I start off each morning by investing in myself (e.g., prayer, reading, journaling). At the end of the day, I also spend time doing things like reading and crosswords. I'm also trying to take Sunday off as a day of rest so I can take the time to go for a walk and enjoy my crafts.


Are you stressed out financially? Do you find yourself wondering how you're going to survive? Have you been living paycheck to paycheck?

In this day and age, it's no wonder that anxiety affects 5 - 9 million Americans over 31. Unfortunately, even I was affected. However, God hears our prayers and can heal us. Sometimes it takes medication, sometimes it doesn't. In either case, you'll find peace.

I know this first hand because God has made a way for me to stop being so anxious about money. Instead of constantly worrying about having enough I've been able to put bills on auto-pay and only check my bank account once a week unless making a major purchase. I'm not telling you this for any reason other than so you know God is a healer.

But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.’ ~ Jeremiah 30:17

Spiritual Life

Do you have a relationship with God? Is He your best friend? Are you living in a way that others can see this?

It's up to each of us to form our own spiritual lives. What works for one person probably isn't going to work for another person. Trying to keep up with someone else or do things their way will only make you feel tired and annoyed. You may even give up. Trust me, I know from experience.

What each of us must realize is that God wants a personal relationship with us. He wants this to be a strong friendship. Just like no two Earthly friendships look alike, no two people will have the same spiritual walk.


What is your home life like? Are you able to do the things you enjoy? Can you engage with your family or roommates healthily?

Your home is your sanctuary, your castle. You deserve to not only see it as such but also feel that way when you're there.

While I can't live independently, I'm blessed to live with my son, who's on a different schedule than me. This schedule allows me to have plenty of time to myself each day, and he's still there to help me. I've started to slowly move into this role of not needing him to always be around. I think it's helping that I'm starting to find my own identity.


What have you always wanted to do? What would you do if you stopped living for others and started living for yourself? Remember, I'm not asking you to be selfish here. I'm asking you to step out and be the person you've always dreamed you could be. 

For instance, to me, this means that I want to be a published author. I'm thinking much larger than blogging. I'm thinking of writing books that God uses to touch people's lives. I'm also working on creating a section for members of this blog. (Stay tuned as I've already begun working on that).

Finding the Right Hat

Now that you've taken a moment to consider your hats and what you want them to be, you can see what your true identity is like. This identity is your authentic self. I challenge you to step into it today.

Until next time, Stay strong,
~ Bre