Here's Why the Narcissist in Your Life is Ignoring You


A puppy lying on the floor with his head on his paw.
Have you ever wondered why narcissists ignore you?

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist it’s different from most relationships. Initially, you may not notice the subtle differences, but throughout the years you’ll see their clever masks. These are disguises that they’ve carefully polished, perfected, and preserved. It is then that the relationship can become downright infuriating.

They may draw you in with their smile and candor. You may even find yourself enticed by their flattery and knowledge. When you’re around other people they’ll turn on the charm, attentiveness, and kindness. However, when you’re alone they’ll act disconnected, show no empathy, and become deliberately unaware of your needs.

This unawareness of your needs can become a major issue in your relationship. There are many reasons narcissists ignore you. Let’s take a look at some of them. 

Narcissists love to see how you’ll react. 

One of the main reasons why narcissists ignore you is that they want to see how you’ll react in different situations. This provides them with momentary satisfaction, but since they seek a continual supply of satisfaction, they’ll continue doing this. Each opportunity they get to see your reaction helps them feel more important and valued.

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist they’ll deliberately ignore you because that means they win their “game.” The reason why narcissists ignore you here is that they want to get a huge reaction from you. The bigger the reaction this reaction is, the happier they are. This gives them a sense of purpose for being in the relationship.

Narcissists love the fact that you keep coming back.

Another major reason why narcissists ignore you is that they think of it in terms of an accomplishment. They’re constantly looking for empathetic people who’ll keep giving to them. This is a challenge for them. In it, they’re looking to use their control and manipulation tactics to see if they can destroy you from the inside out.

Here is yet another part of the “game” that narcissists play. They take pride in arranging their moves so they can cleverly mount a well-orchestrated attack. Once they’re ready to ignore you they’re hoping that you’ll react to them. They then want you to come back to resolve the situation time and time again even though they aren’t interested in ever resolving the issue. Instead, each time they’re hoping for a more escalated reaction.

Since they’re also masters of manipulation, they’ll attempt to talk circles around you hoping to shift the blame on you so they can avoid being accountable. In reality, what they’re doing is gaslighting and causing disturbances in their relationships.

Narcissists love feeling needed. 

You can’t overlook this reason as to why narcissists ignore you. It all begins with their desire to engage in meaningful conversations with you so you’ll feel like part of their life. They also want you to believe that they want to be a part of your life too when in reality, they don’t. They’re only interested in appeasing you so you’ll give them what they want. You’ll see this because they’ll only put up this act for so long, especially if you don’t react in the way they want.

In a twisted, backfiring way, they’ll ignore you so you feel needed. They’ll also tell you what they want to hear so you’ll feel special and cared for. All the while, there won’t be any real evidence of their feelings. Instead, they’re trying to get their way.

If you find you need a narcissist in your life, be careful. Once they believe they’ve won you over, they’ll become even more manipulating. Since they see that you’re on their side they’ll play a new “game.” This time they want to see how obnoxiously they can behave so they can see how much control they have over you. They’ll watch how you respond to them here before deciding how to proceed.

Narcissists are always looking for an opportunity. 

When you think about why narcissists ignore you eventually, you’ll see that everything is a “game” for them. They attempt to create chaos, drama, manipulation, twisted situations, blame, higher reactions, and gaslighting. They’ll talk in circles to make you confused, stir up conversations, and bring up discussions from the past. All of this is so they can be in control of the madness they’ve deliberately created.

As narcissists accomplish these things they feel like puppet masters pulling your strings. They love being in control so they’re purposeful in creating conversational entanglement. To them, it’s an evil-spirited art form.

So, why narcissists ignore you is because it’s a game for them. Unfortunately, you’ve become their target until they can replace you with someone “better.” They may resurface again in the future though if their current player isn’t available any longer or stops fulfilling all their needs. 


It’s challenging to be in a relationship with a narcissist. However, once you learn why narcissists ignore you, it’s easier to learn techniques and ways of handling them. One of the best things you can do here is to take back your life and move on.